Jake

This is a conversation I had today

Sat, 07 Nov 2009 13:32:54 -0600

Me: Do you need a car charger for this phone today, sir? Blind guy: No.

Today I saw a guy with a really heavy duty New York Yankees jacket. It was embroidered with all of...

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 23:44:00 -0600

Today I saw a guy with a really heavy duty New York Yankees jacket. It was embroidered with all of...

This happened.

Mon, 02 Nov 2009 21:50:00 -0600

This happened.

Artifact

Mon, 26 Oct 2009 09:46:06 -0500

Of all of the museums I have been to in my life and of all of historical items I have been in the...

Guy #1: Hey, you should get something extreme painted on the...

Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:27:05 -0500

Guy #1: Hey, you should get something extreme painted on the back of your truck.

Guy #2: Good idea. But what would I ever get to make it worthwhile to depreciate the value of my new car ten-fold?

Guy #1: I don’t know. Maybe a custom paint job of some ferocious carnivores.

Guy #2: Like a lion.

Guy #1: Too safari. Something from middle America.

Guy #2: A T-rex?

Guy #1: Nah, too extinct.

Guy #2: … Wait a second!

Guy #1 & Guy #2 [in perfect unison while completing a jumping high five]: TIMBERWOLVES!

Me and My Monkey - Robbie Williams Guys, if you know me, you...

Mon, 12 Oct 2009 10:12:43 -0500

Me and My Monkey - Robbie Williams

Guys, if you know me, you know how much I love the following: monkeys, monkeys wearing rollerblades, Lee Dungarees, prostitutes, and songs written on drugs.

That being said, you can only imagine my reaction when I was informed of this song. I know you probably don’t listen to the other garbage I post on this site, but for everything that is right in this cold, dark world, click on play.

Alive - Pearl Jam featuring Jerry Cantrell of Alice in...

Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:23:43 -0500

Alive - Pearl Jam featuring Jerry Cantrell of Alice in Chains

This video couldn’t get any grungier if they had Kurt Cobain’s corpse dangling from the speakers.

Life Changes

Mon, 05 Oct 2009 11:25:34 -0500

As you may or may not have noticed, I have not been around lately. This is mainly due to the fact...

Bob Dylan may replace the British lady in your GPS system

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 15:18:00 -0500

Bob Dylan may replace the British lady in your GPS system: It would come with a brand new feature,...

I helped some dude at work the other day and didn’t realize who he was until he caught a...

Mon, 21 Sep 2009 22:50:39 -0500

I helped some dude at work the other day and didn’t realize who he was until he caught a...

joshmohrer: Yo Kanye West, Imma let you finish your publicity...

Fri, 18 Sep 2009 20:02:20 -0500

joshmohrer:

Yo Kanye West, Imma let you finish your publicity stunt, but Eddie Vedder made the most awkward award ceremony moment OF ALL TIME.

Going to repost any and all Vedder posts until my Backspacer vinyl arrives.

Coma - Guns N’ Roses Easily one of the best ten-minute...

Thu, 10 Sep 2009 22:54:00 -0500

Coma - Guns N’ Roses

Easily one of the best ten-minute songs to include a defibrillator but oddly no chorus in the last 19 years. This song is the Shawshank Redemption to the Forrest Gump that was “November Rain.” In other words, no one noticed this song, but lyric people know what’s up. Axl Rose literally passed out while writing the end of this song. If you don’t think that’s rock and roll, I don’t want to know you.

I and Love and You - The Avett Brothers You heard it here first:...

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 23:35:00 -0500

I and Love and You - The Avett Brothers

You heard it here first: the Avett Bros. will be this year’s Kings of Leon.

In Chicago for 2 nights of Pearl Jam at United Center. If you never hear back from me, my face...

Sat, 22 Aug 2009 19:20:10 -0500

In Chicago for 2 nights of Pearl Jam at United Center. If you never hear back from me, my face...

Seconds before the state of Wisconsin exploded with betrayal and...

Tue, 18 Aug 2009 17:38:48 -0500

Seconds before the state of Wisconsin exploded with betrayal and rage.

Policewoman escorts Bob Dylan to hotel after failing to recognise him

Sat, 15 Aug 2009 11:05:08 -0500

Policewoman escorts Bob Dylan to hotel after failing to recognise him: Cop: Hello sir. We have...

What my girlfriend will wake up to.

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 23:37:30 -0500

What my girlfriend will wake up to.

My girlfriend spilled beer on my MacBook. Now the keys are all sticky and the mouse doesn’t...

Wed, 12 Aug 2009 17:57:54 -0500

My girlfriend spilled beer on my MacBook. Now the keys are all sticky and the mouse doesn’t...

Part Four of the “Happiest Sounding Sad Songs’ Sweet...

Mon, 10 Aug 2009 10:00:00 -0500

Part Four of the “Happiest Sounding Sad Songs’

Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond

It is rare that a bar will kick people out at the end of the night before 1969’s anthemic “Sweet Caroline” comes on the jukebox. Each night, drunkards all over the country sing along and pump their fists to each “ba, ba, BA.” Beside alcoholics, dozens of sporting teams (including the NY Rangers, Red Sox, Penn State, and Red Wings) have played the song after home victories.

If you actually sit down and listen to the words, it lyrically alludes to some sort of seasonal fling with a woman named Caroline. That’s fine; 90% of songs are written about women. Except for the creepy undertones in this song. What creepy undertones? Well, how about that this song is about old Neil serenading JFK’s then eleven year-year old daughter. He divulged the inspiration behind the song two years ago, citing a picture of a young Caroline Kennedy. Diamond explained, “It was a picture of a little girl dressed to the nines in her riding gear, next to her pony.”

Ohhh. That’s not weird.

Chuck Klosterman says there are no such thing as guilty...

Sun, 09 Aug 2009 17:15:00 -0500

Chuck Klosterman says there are no such thing as guilty pleasures. I tend to agree, so while Rob Thomas isn’t quite a guilty pleasure, he’s not something I’m incredible comfortable admitting to.