December 2006
14 posts
Only The Good Die Young*
*Hussein was 69.
1 tag
Top 5 Benefits of Having Divorced Parents
5. TWO holiday seasons! TWO birthday parties! That means: DOUBLE the presents! 4. Examples of how not to destroy a relationship. 3. No discipline!! Just have the other parent pick you up when you’re in trouble with the other! 2. If you’re lucky, they’ll compete with eachother and try to buy your love! Ka-ching, ka-ching!! 1. Emotional baggage.
Keep On Linkin' In The Free World
Sweet Craigslist rant “To the women who work in my office… I hate you”
Hey ladies! Check this out if you haven’t controlled anything yet today! Turn someones x-mas lights on and off via the interweb
Iowa schools bans hugging What’s next? Banning thong underwear? Smokin’ in the boys room??
Nothing better than civilians enforcing ‘No Smoking’ rules...
Jake Rushes Some Lame One-Liners and Then Delivers...
It’s important to never shave while listening to upbeat music such as Southern rock. You might literally rock your face off. Not funny, just safe advice.
(Always wear your seat belt. Also not funny, just safe advice.)
[five minutes of continuous applause] . . . . . . . . . . . . .
I decided that the best thing I got out of playing high school sports was not sportmanship, exercise, nor the...
Discussing Recent Current Events with Dane Cook
Hey Dane, did you hear about the missing climbers out in Oregon?
Yeah, I did. What a bunch of silly BITCHES, huh!
Um, I guess. Did you see the clip of the NBA brawl?
Carmello needs to chill! That was SUCH a nothing fight!
Uh.. yeah…. Why are you shouting?
It’s just WHAT I DO, bro!
Alright, well I gotta go pick up my kid from school.
Know what you should do? Run up to him, yell...
Hello, I Link You, Won't You Tell Me Your Name?
Hey, look it’s me in 97 years! Van Wilder doesn’t have shit on this dude
Man shoots own dog, has to wear a dog costume and visit grade schools I wonder if they reminded him not to bring his gun
Man strangled by his own snake Worst reasons to own a snake: 1) You can’t pet them. 2) They can wrap around your neck and strangle you to death
57 pound hamburger on menu in Indonesia...
A Naive MySpacer Accidentally Fills Out Questions...
SuRvEyYyYy: Repost this in the next 300 seconds or you will never fall in love!!
1. Do you think you’re growing up too fast? Oh, man! Do I ever. Sometimes it’s just so crazy just to take a step back and look at your life. It’s like “wow, I’m already in my third year of college!” I mean, yowza.
2. Is it true you learned to read at two? No, I learned how to...
Oh, Other Countries That Make America Look Normal
I’d just like to know:
A) What this sport is called. B) Whose babies those are. C) Where he got those sweet pants. D) WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU DON’T SUCCEED?
1 tag
Oh, Humorous Portions of Conversation!
My father: If you’re stupid enough to get killed on your 21st birthday, I won’t even come to your funeral.
Jake: Well in the wise words of Pearl Jam, “I’m still alive.” Britta: “Do you deserve to be?” Jake: “Is that the question?” Britta: “And if so, who answers?”
Jake: What are you getting me for my birthday? Lilly: I’m releasing 4 dozen...
1 tag
A Dog Forced to Wear An Adorable Sweater Complains...
Hey Joseph,
What’s up? It’s your pet pug, Tommy. I’ve been meaning to pull you aside for a little chit-chat lately.
Listen, I like this life you’ve given me and all. Overall it’s been a very enjoyable year and a half of living together. But this sweater shit is just not going to fly anymore.
It’s just getting real fucking condescending, is all. That fucked up sweater you stuffed me...
How to Get Guys Named Jake to Like You, Written by...
Start eye fucking him immediately upon his arrival.
Walk up to him with an outstretched hand. When he shakes your hand and introduces himself, shake your head and explain that you simply wanted the beer he was holding.
Follow him around the party.
Offer to get him a beer, then return with one but give it to someone else by mistake.
Make small talk and ask what his major is.
Don’t...
Sun-Maid Is Fucking Ridiculous
Are you fucking kidding me? This dried apricot even has an apricot clitoris and an apricot labia! Sun-Maid has been e-mailed.
Don't Link Twice, It's All Right
This kid needs a good beating to smarten him up
Awesome Improv Everywhere prank featuring Ben Folds
Odds on the winner of this auction smelling or wearing the item have to be at 2:1
Oh, 1955 — you were so silly
Thanks for saving the family from the burning house, by the way: you’re going to the pound
Swap your baby for a PS3?
Young Hova says no to anti-semetism
And finally,...
Unnecessary Censorship
I fucking love these.