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This is a conversation I had today
Me: Do you need a car charger for this phone today, sir?
Blind guy: No.
Today I saw a guy with a really heavy duty New York Yankees jacket. It was embroidered with all of their different championships and evolution of the team’s logos over the years. Then in big cursive letters it said “26 World Championships.”
So yeah, the rest of the world doesn’t really care that New York won another World Series tonight. But hey, at least that jerk needs to buy a new jacket.
Artifact
Of all of the museums I have been to in my life and of all of historical items I have been in the presence of, this is the most sacred.
It is the actual scoreboard used in The Mighty Ducks.
![Guy #1: Hey, you should get something extreme painted on the back of your truck.
Guy #2: Good idea. But what would I ever get to make it worthwhile to depreciate the value of my new car ten-fold?
Guy #1: I don’t know. Maybe a custom paint job of some ferocious carnivores.
Guy #2: Like a lion.
Guy #1: Too safari. Something from middle America.
Guy #2: A T-rex?
Guy #1: Nah, too extinct.
Guy #2: … Wait a second!
Guy #1 & Guy #2 [in perfect unison while completing a jumping high five]: TIMBERWOLVES!](http://21.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_krty55HYCi1qznaxbo1_400.jpg)
Guy #1: Hey, you should get something extreme painted on the back of your truck.
Guy #2: Good idea. But what would I ever get to make it worthwhile to depreciate the value of my new car ten-fold?
Guy #1: I don’t know. Maybe a custom paint job of some ferocious carnivores.
Guy #2: Like a lion.
Guy #1: Too safari. Something from middle America.
Guy #2: A T-rex?
Guy #1: Nah, too extinct.
Guy #2: … Wait a second!
Guy #1 & Guy #2 [in perfect unison while completing a jumping high five]: TIMBERWOLVES!
Me and My Monkey - Robbie Williams
Guys, if you know me, you know how much I love the following: monkeys, monkeys wearing rollerblades, Lee Dungarees, prostitutes, and songs written on drugs.
That being said, you can only imagine my reaction when I was informed of this song. I know you probably don’t listen to the other garbage I post on this site, but for everything that is right in this cold, dark world, click on play.
Alive - Pearl Jam featuring Jerry Cantrell of Alice in Chains
This video couldn’t get any grungier if they had Kurt Cobain’s corpse dangling from the speakers.
Life Changes
As you may or may not have noticed, I have not been around lately. This is mainly due to the fact that I do not own a functioning computer. It is also due to the fact that when I am not working, I am looking for new places on Craigslist to live as my girlfriend and I broke up.
In college, I placed pretty much everything ahead of classes. Now that I have a full time “adult” job, it’s harder to do so. I had my first actual realization of this on Saturday night when I went to see The Gaslight Anthem in Minneapolis. Because of the three openers (Murder By Death included), TGA did not start their set until past 11:30pm. Due to the fact that I had to work early the next morning, I did something I have never done before in any concert or sporting event: I left early.
This is a huge deal for me as even during boring, blowout baseball games, I have never left before all nine innings were completed. In college, I would use any excuse to go to games or shows that interfered with class schedules. Basically, I have realized that being an adult means leaving a show that was postponed for 9 months after the first 5 songs in order to get up early and work.
Being an adult is fucking lame.
Bob Dylan may replace the British lady in your GPS system »
It would come with a brand new feature, where if you drive a Buick 6 down Highway 61, your car will automatically explode.
I helped some dude at work the other day and didn’t realize who he was until he caught a touchdown for the Minnesota Vikings this weekend. Then I realized the reason he was so pissy was probably because I had absolutely no idea who he was.
Maybe if his team hadn’t sucked so much in the last decade, I would care enough to look at a box score once in a while.
